The Manager Mom Epidemic: Book Review

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When I first picked up a copy of this book I expected it to be descriptive of what I have been observing lately:  Households where the mom is in charge of everything, in other words, the phenomenon that Dr. Thomas Phelan calls “Manager Mom.”  However, I was very pleased to find out that this book includes not only a description of what the phenomenon is, in detail, but also offers many examples and suggestions on dealing with this situation at home.

What is a Manager Mom?  In short, it is a mom that does it all:  The childcare, the cleaning, the food preparation (which includes buying and cleaning up afterwards), the laundry, the appointments, the after-school activities….You get the picture.  How did this happen?  How is it that moms are the ones who bear the burden of everything household related?  Dr. Phelan refers to the original bond between mother and baby as well as the strong message that has been passed down from generation to generation, from mom to mom, as the culprits for this type of behavior.

In fact, Dr. Phelan calls the strong identification with “mom duties” as Mommy ID, and explains how moms tend to feel a strong sense of guilt when their perceived “responsibilities’ are not taken care of (by them!).  This concept was quite enlightening to me as I often hear moms tell me that if they don’t do it all, things don’t get done “right.”

If you feel this way, then this book is for you.  If your family falls in what most people call “traditional,”  mom takes care of all the responsibilities in the house, whether she works outside the home or not, and dad works outside the home but does not contribute to household duties, then this book describes you.  If you are tired of living like this, and would like more “me” time or you are a dad or a partner who would like to be able to make decisions and share the burden of responsibility, then this book is for you.

You will find many actual examples of couples that have moved from what seemed to be the tiring routine of the house to a schema that works for everyone!  It is possible!

To pick up a copy of this book, please click here.

We All Benefit When Work is Shared!

As always, if you have any comments or questions, please drop me a note.

Thanks!

Dr. Klimek.

Pets and Emotional Strength

Raising A Doodle

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It is not secret that I love animals, and by that I mean not only the commonly-found animals in cities across America, but also the ones that people do not typically find  cute and cuddly and they’d rather eat.  I love and protect them all.   I’m an animal lover, vegetarian, can’t-live-without-a-pet (especially a cat) type of person.  I am also not shy in sharing my love for my four-legged children with the world.  As a person, I have experienced the one of a kind benefits that stem from having a bond with a pet. 

As a professional, I’m always encouraging the families that I work with to teach their children to love and care for someone else in the world by encouraging them to welcome a pet in their lives. There is simply no substitute for caring for another being, than the opportunity to provide this caring and affection to a pet.

Theresa Piasta, the author of Raising a Doodle and owner of Puppy Mama, shares her own experience as she dealt with the aftermath of serving in the military, to working in the high stress environment of Wall Street, to dealing with her own experience with PTSD. She found healing in her dog, Waffles, and quickly understood the unique relationship and bond that comes with this type of relationship.

As her bond with Waffles grew, so did her emotional strength, and the desire to share this knowledge with other women. Hence, Puppy Mama was born. Raising a Doodle delves into Ms. Piasta’s personal experiences, the experiences of hundreds of women who experienced the healing effects of caring for a dog, and the community that they formed since the creation of the Puppy Mama community.

If you are interested in learning more about how a pet can help you heal, and teach your children the importance of caring, grab a copy of this book here.

Cheers,

Dr. Klimek

Confessions of a Plastic Surgeon: Life and Living

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Like Dr. Jeneby, I also have a confession.  I wanted to read Confessions of a Plastic Surgeon even though it had no relation (or so I thought) with what I typically write about on this blog.  But then, I read the book, and I realized that this doctor’s outlook on life has more in common with mine than I want to admit.

For starters, in his book Confessions of a Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Jeneby refers to his childhood, his journey through school, his different, “one-of-a-kind” personality, that made him stand out, and all these things reminded me of my life.  Like Dr. Jeneby, I often felt like an “outsider,” whether in school or at work.  I mostly felt like the odd one out of the bunch.  I was never part of the “cool” clique, and most days I was called the “nerd.”  Dr. Jeneby talks very candidly about how this phase in his life gave him the fuel he needed to stay motivated and prove everyone wrong.  Like him, I do have an insatiable drive to show everyone what I can do, and in my case, what WE, as a special village, can do.  We have a similar story, even if on the surface it looks very different.

Dr. Jeneby is very close to his family and takes the opportunity to show us his life.  He credits his mother for providing the strong role modeling of a strong, motivated, professional woman.  Her strong guidance spearheaded him into a successful life, but the support of his family through thick and thin is what keeps him afloat. In Confessions of a Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Jeneby talks about his desire for success, his motivation, and his realization that he could only be himself if he worked for himself.  In this particular regard too, I felt connected to what he describes.  I spent so much time working for “others” when it didn’t suit me, that my only regret is not having set myself free sooner.

He dedicates a good amount of the book talking about his charity work, which he pours his heart into.  Like him, I cannot live without this aspect of my life, which is why I pour my heart into The Bocha ProjectConfessions of a Plastic Surgeon is the unveiling of a world that I you can only see in television programs like Botched, plus everything that comes with this world:  the craziness, the unstoppable hours, the constant running for time.  If you like to watch plastic surgery shows on television, you will definitely like Confessions of a Plastic Surgeon, and you will get to know an awesome professional as an added bonus.

Woman with face covered by a hat.
Confessions of a Plastic Surgeon

Treat yourself! 

Victoria’s Voice: Book Review

I recently read Victoria’s Voice:  Our Daughter’s Wish to Share her Diary and Save Lives from Drugs.  I have to admit, it was tough for me to even pick it up and start to read it.  Don’t get me wrong:  I’m an avid reader, but to read the diary of a young girl who had died of an overdose and to have her parents, through their agony, share their experience, was an emotional adventure.  Victoria was only 18 years old when she passed away.

The book is a very personal account by Victoria’s parents, David and Jackie Siegel, of what their daughter was like and the experience of emotional stress that they went through as they saw their daughter struggled with anxiety, addiction, depression, and anorexia, and the inevitable fallout that all of these issues led her to.  They also share the agony of their daughter’s passing, and the struggle to figure out their next steps, as they tried to make sense of such a tragic event. 

It was right after their daughter’s death that the Siegels received a text from Victoria’s friend that changed the trajectory of their lives.  Victoria had asked this friend to share the text with her parents, in case she ever died.  In this text, she directed her parents to search for her diary, and to share it with the world.  The Siegels struggled with this decision, but ultimately they decided not only to share her diary with the world, but to become educators and advocates, so that no other parent would have to go through what they went through.

They shared that since their daughter’s death, they learned so much.  In fact, they wish that they would have known what they know now before Victoria’s passing.  They can’t turn back the clock, but they can help save another family from tragedy.  They want everyone to learn about this issue so that it is not too late for a family who is experiencing this issue.  They want everyone to recognize the signs:  Addicts can become very good at hiding their addition.  They want everyone to advocate for a safer environment for young lives. 

David and Victoria Siegel have worked tirelessly to promote laws that protect children, implement ample access to Naxolone (a drug that can save lives from overdose), and advocate for safe-keeping of even day to day drugs.  They have testified before Congress and have advocated for more comprehensive rehabilitation for individuals who are suffering from addiction. 

Victoria’s Voice is full of insight.  I recommend it as a family reading.  Families who are going through the pain of addiction are very special families that need the support of our entire village. 

If you are interested in the book, you can buy it here.  Proceeds from the sales of the book benefit the Victoria Siegel foundation.  Please visit their website (here), to learn more about drugs, addiction, the Siegels, and their advocacy, or simply to get help.

Victoria Siegel

Thanks!