The Long Blink: A Must-Have Book

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When I first read about The Long Blink, I became really interested because I thought this book would illustrate what I, as many other family members and advocates for families of individuals with disabilities, have always been saying:  That a “disability” can be acquired by anyone, at any time, and can change a life in a moment.  The Long Blink surpassed my expectations. This is the story of a family, the Slattery family, and for Ed Slattery and his family, it only took a blink of an eye, a long blink that would change his and his children’s lives forever.

Ed Slattery could not have imagined that a phone call in August of 2010 would turn his life upside down.  The voice on the other line was telling him to get there immediately:  His family had been in an accident.  He would later learn that while both his children had been severely injured by this accident, it was his younger son’s prognosis that was very worrisome.  He would also learn that his wife, the love of his life, Susan Slattery, had died in this accident.

I wish I had enough space to talk about the many reasons why I think this book should be read by the entire world, but since this is not possible, I will try to illustrate in just a few points why I think this book is an absolute must-have for anyone who wishes to understand our community:

  1. Life can change in an instant:  Anything can happen to anyone, at any time.  For the Slattery family, it was Matthew who from one moment to the next, went from a normally-developing young boy, to battling for his life, to making heart-wrenching efforts to be able to hold objects with his right hand.
  2. Special Needs need Special Attention:  Even though well-meaning people may have the best intentions at heart, and may think they can define what our community needs, it is only our community that can and should be an active participant in decision making.  For Ed Slattery, it was building a new home so that Matthew can fully participate in daily living.  For me, it was being able to get a gate pass to accompany my brother to the gate when he flies.  I can’t say enough how frustrating and depressing it was for me to have to work in places where I was told what “script” to follow when dealing with families in our community.   Once, I was reprimanded for giving a parent options.  This practice is humiliating, demoralizing, and just plainly wrong.  In his journey, Ed Slattery discovers how important it is to adapt to his son’s new life and how much growth can result from this adaptation.
  3. Our Community is Inspiring:  Matthew not only inspired and moved his father, Ed, to a whole-new life, but he also changed the lives of so many people around him.  It is easy to see how learning about Matthew and the Slattery family was a transforming experience for Brian Kuebler, the journalist and author of this book.  He was sent to report on this accident first but never lost sight of this family’s experience.  The result was this brilliantly written book and the message of hope and solidarity that it inspires.
  4. Change is Difficult:  As members of this community, we tend to understand firsthand how we got here and what changes need to be made so that others do not have to suffer.  The community at-large, however, may have a much more difficult time absorbing this knowledge.  Since the accident that changed his son’s life, Ed Slattery has been a tireless advocate for trucking safety regulations, as it was a truck driver who dozed off on the road and killed his wife.  As frustrating as this has been for him, he has yet to see the full results of his arduous work.

Reading this book was a very personal journey for me.  It often reminded me of my family, growing up, the challenges and obstacles that we faced.  I’m thankful that because of our advocacy over the years, life has become a bit more manageable for families today.  Reading about the Slattery family leaves me full of admiration not only for Ed and his family, but also for the incredible families out there whom I’ve worked with, and who deal with these issues, day in and day out.

It also deepens my already gigantic admiration for my parents, because it is only through their love that I learned to love our very special village.

Get this book!  Share it with the World!

two trucks on the road
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Carrying My Mother’s Bags

Personal Stories Series

My brother, Fernando, was born when I was 7 years old. As I remember, my mother suspected that there was something wrong all through her pregnancy, although she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. To her, something just didn’t feel right.

Her fears were partially confirmed when she had to have an emergency C-section at 7 months gestation. And it didn’t stop there. She continued to observe how this child, her third, would not walk when he was expected, or talk when he was supposed to. My parents did all they could to make sure that they visited the every specialist or doctor that they were recommended by well-meaning people.

At that time, and where we lived, there was no early intervention, or good special programs. My parents had to fend for themselves. My father worked as much as he could, as many hours as it was humanly possible, to supply what the family needed.

I remember very clearly when my parents tried to get speech/language services for my brother. It was just a gamble whether the insurance would pay or not. Most times, my parents ended up paying out of pocket, and barely able to cover one or two sessions a week.

There is a clear picture in my head of my mother, holding my brother, who was a big 2 year old boy at the time, while we were travelling by bus to make it to the therapy center. No one would give up their seat. I guess, in their minds, they could not figure out why a seemingly healthy child would not stand up and hold the bars. What they didn’t know was that my brother had just recently started walking and was quite unsteady on his feet.

I accompanied my mother on many of these trips. It was just impossible for her to carry my brother, who was a quite robust 2 year old, and all the bags she needed for essentials. She tried to schedule appointments when I was available so that I could help. I remember clearly carrying my mother’s bags. And I remember clearly my mother carrying my brother.

To this day, I can clearly see how my mom continues to “carry” my brother, in every aspect of his life. And I, for one, do my best to try to help her with her bags. Love you Mom!

Thank you.

My mom with my brother Fernando in 1979