“I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face ” Sting, If I Ever Lose My Faith in You.
It seems somewhat incredible, unbelievable, that it has already been over 6 months since I cut ties with my employer of almost 22 years and became self-employed. Let’s just say that the writing was on the wall, or rather, it had been on the wall for quite some time. I had never been a firm believer in signs or the universe sending a message, or things of that nature, but in this case, the message was loud and clear: It was time to let go.
Now, I had always thought that if I was ever to leave my employer of so many years, it would be for something worthwhile. In my case, “worthwhile” meant making the jump from employee to entrepreneur. What I didn’t know at the time was that six months in, I was going to find so much happiness, fulfillment, and sense of purpose doing what I currently do.
A year ago, I had insomnia, and could not sleep for days, from the stress that my job caused me. I lost weight and was put on medication to manage symptoms of PTSD. This year, I lay awake at night just reflecting on the incredible things I get to live day by day. Life has certainly changed, and I am extremely thankful to those who “wrote on my wall,” as they, in their quest to make my life impossible, managed to make it incredibly purposeful. Sometimes the Universe does work in odd ways.
And if you think that money is the reason I’m saying all of this, you’re wrong. Even though I have been very fortunate in that department, I can honestly say that the reason for this incredible emotion is the fact that for the first time in my life, I get to do, every single day, and every single moment of the day, what I believe in, what I love to do.
These emotions became all the more clear in during the last two weeks of 2019. Each end of the year and beginning of a new year tend to mark a tone of reflection. This was especially true in my case, as I was able to spend those days making connections that will last a lifetime and will truly make the world a better place. I welcomed the new year in a completely incredible, positive, and new-for-me state of mind.
I was also lucky, very, very lucky to be able to spend those days surrounded by family and friends, the kind that love you no matter what and support you always. I could almost hear my late father whisper in my ear “I told you so,” so many times. He will always be my guiding star and my inspiration. He used to love the song by Sting “If I Ever Lose my Faith in You.” We used to sing it together.
Dad, wherever you are, thank you for never losing your faith in me. Thank you for showing me the way, always.